my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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