He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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