It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
