Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
