Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
