You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
