this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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