Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
