Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
