I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
