I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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