I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
