ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
