Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
