David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
