Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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