did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My bed smells like the plague
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
