so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
