guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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