So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
false alarm, still single
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