I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
