halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
