That's intense
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
