i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
