did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
