Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
