Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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