She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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