Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
