I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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