I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
