You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So much rum. So many feels.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
