dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
