so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
