What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
