you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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