So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
