Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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