I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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