Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
