The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
