White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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