Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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