Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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