I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
