I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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