I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
