He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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