He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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