Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
