Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
