Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
