i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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