READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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